Rumination: The Land that Didn't Listen to It's Parents

“Stop eating with your hands!” “Don’t talk to strangers!” “Don’t play in the road!” “Cross the street only at the crosswalk, when you get a signal!” “Don’t eat too many sweets!” “Use your inside voice!” “No rollerblades in the house!” “Take a bath every day (…or every few days… or once a week, for that matter)!”

These are all things that you will never, ever hear in Morocco.

Here in the medina, life is sort of like a little kid’s paradise. You eat with your hands (and usually a piece of bread), reserving silverware only for soup and couscous. You say hello to anyone and everyone, and men are free to say virtually anything to try to get a woman’s attention. And I mean anything. You play soccer or tag in the middle of the street and cross even major roads wherever and whenever you want, regardless of traffic. Meals, especially during Ramadan, tend to be all sugar and simple carbohydrates, all the time. The volume of even peaceful conversations tends to be quite elevated, let alone the intensity of actual arguments. And bathing is basically optional – if you get to the hammam (public baths) once a week, then you’re doing better than most people.

It all makes for a really relaxed, laid back society, right? Well, in some ways. Moroccan culture has developed its own idea of hashuma, or “shame.” Almost any action that is contrary to societal expectations and the status quo can be considered hashuma, from poor or disgraceful behavior to inappropriate dress to a range of other offenses. And Moroccans, especially family members, are rarely afraid to call you out on it – either verbally or by pulling down one of their lower eyelids (often reserved for younger children and adolescents who should know better).

However, some parental classics still apply. For example, “Make your bed!” takes on additional importance when the household furniture is couch by day and bed by night. Also, sharing extends to every aspect of life, from the communal plate and communal cup at meals to virtually any item which you bring into the house. You lose the concept of “mine” and gain the permanent idea of “ours.” Of course, when you’re sharing cups and food to this degree, you are also unfortunately bound to share germs with each other – hence, “Wash your hands!” remains a popular adage. Additionally, I don’t think that I have ever encountered a more charitable people – the idea of giving is built into not only society, but religion (with its mandatory alms gift each year at the end of Ramadan). It is not uncommon, then, to see people giving food and money to the myriad handicapped people begging on the streets, as well as supplying the rampant street cat population with food or drink.

In the end, Moroccan society is paradoxically both far more open and far more closed off than American society – it’s all just a case by case evaluation.